It has been a long time since posting and I almost forgot about breathe...
Life seems to be changing. There was a time when I filled myself with giving in order to feel complete. No longer. I suppose a near death experience does that - it shifts the bookends. In the past, my recovery from issues preventing me from wearing pagers left me like a rabid dog waiting for a turned on pager and scurrying off to some crisis. Now - not so much. I enjoy less training nights, meetings, and thinking about how far I have to run to my truck should the pager alert.
The question I hear often is when are you coming back? My answer: not sure. The gift I have is in the midst of chaos, all seems rather clear on what to do. The ability to rapidly analyze and develop a correction plan comes very easily. Does that mean go back to all of what I've been doing many years or shift to something else? Oddly, now is when people are coming to me asking for my help, and I am not giving yeses. I am sitting back, watching, asking, contemplating and it is so refreshing!
Without the continual buzzing around, I've been able to take quiet moments. I see a lot of people in very small boxes they have constructed for themselves and fought to contain others. I wonder how they can grow? How they experience dismal defeats and joyous moments of excellence when they've wound their lives so tightly?
Time is so temporary.